How to Add Bad to Thanksgiving

From my Bad Girls page-a-day calendar (thanks, Rox)

At Thanksgiving, Play Problem Child

Angry Politically Correct Child: Just as everyone is sitting down to enjoy their feast, tap your wineglass with a fork, stand up and read a one-page speech about oppression in the United States and why we should boycott this bogus holiday.

Geeky, Socially Awkward Brainiac: After several large mugs of mulled win, retreat to the bedroom, don a pilgrim costume and insist that everyone follow you to the backyard to reenact the age-old tradition of burying three kernels of corn and a dead fish. Be prepared to deliver a brief lecture on the history of the first Thanksgiving.

Bitter Rage-Against-the Machine Kid: An hour before dinner, remove the fuse to the kitchen from the fuse box and hide it, As a back up, sever the cable wire just before the big football game.